The Toymaker
(Perverse Ignored Functional Adult)
Your inner child is the Toymaker (PIFA) --aloof, quirky and maniacal like a baroque timepiece-- so don't be surprised when all your cukoo clocks go off at once. Luckily, for the present, you have managed to siphon all of your weird-ass issues into some sort of outlet, so you're safe from the guys in skintight white jump suits.
The little baby working away inside of you functions because everything it has learned it learned itself-- without too much outside help. Because you were born being old, you are fixated on youth.
This inner child is common among people who use shiny objects, like serial killers and dentists.
What are you?